The Terrible Twos.


My son turned two on Saturday.

The terrible twos they call them. Well, I can testify that the twos are real and they are indeed terrible.

Since the twos have been approaching, I’ve been noticing a distinct change in his behavior.

NO, NO, and NO.

Also, he wants to hit us when he doesn’t get his way.

I can’t have that.

Plus, he was showing out at school and in public: hitting, throwing stuff, biting.

I was so ashamed.

In my family/culture, its customary around this time to start with hitting, spanking, or whatever you want to call it.

In other words, its time to tap.that.tail.

I’ve been reluctant. I wanted to raise my child different from how I was raised. I had visions of a well-behaved child who did what I told him. Maybe a little defiant, but a quick time out would fix that. I read books on “toddler behavior” and “parenting”.

Yeah, whatever.

All that new parent speak may work in someone else’s world, but in mine…..

I tried everything: reason, redirection, distraction, time out, reverse psychology. None of it worked, and we were at our wits ends over here.  But you know what did work?

A thin wooden spoon.

I’ve never personally used said spoon.

I think my husband used it once.

But that was enough.

Every since that moment, if you even show him the spoon, he backs down and does what you tell him to.

It’s amazing folks, just plain amazing!  Just the THREAT of the spoon.

Sometimes I don’t even have to show the spoon. I just have to say: “Do I need to get my spoon?”

Now let me clarify a little. My child is not deftly afraid of us now, or of the spoon. He just recognizes that the spoon holds the power. And that we hold the spoon.

Amazingly, once we got the behavior under control at home, the behavior at school miraculously improved. I attribute that to the spoon also. Plus, every morning, I whisper in his ear: No hitting, no biting. He repeats it to me and he is so proud in the afternoon to tell me “No hitting, no biting Mommy!”  Even his teacher has commented on his change in behavior!

Now, this is not to say he is perfect. Far from it! But we’re getting control. I believe that time and consistency, along with the threat of my dear friend Mr Spoon will help us along.

You may not agree with my process, or what I’m doing with my child, but guess what? You don’t have to! This is what’s working for me, right now.  Of course, next week, I may be singing a new tune, but who knows? That’s the beauty of parenthood. You learn from each day.

What’s working for you?

LaShawn

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About Rose's Daughter

I'm a Wife, a Mommy, a Nurse, a Blogger and a budding photographer. Isn't that enough?
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10 Responses to The Terrible Twos.

  1. Charma says:

    Great post! Sadly, I know exactly what you’re talking about. Our little guy turned 2 back in September, but he started the “terrible two’s” behavior months before that. Surprisingly, “time out” work for us. (I have no clue how!) My husband & I both have a look that we give him & he knows where he’s supposed to go. He cries all the way over there but then in about 3 minutes, he’s fine. But…please understand…I’m not above showing a spoon if I have to as well! ;)

  2. Sigh….I am experiencing the “terrible twos” times 2!!!! They both terrorize the house..Pray for us!

  3. Pingback: Exhausted | My Life

  4. Krissy says:

    Do whatever works for you and your child girly!

    Let me say this, I don’t believe in terrible 2’s! Its a myth in my world lol. My child went through her “terrible” phase soon after she turned a year old. I nipped it in the bud quickly and let her know who was in charge. She got a few “spanks” on the hand and occasional on the butt and then somehow she started to recognize ” the mama look” lol. Now all I have to do it look at her and she straightens right up!

  5. KalleyC says:

    All hail that magic spoon! 2 wasn’t that bad for me, but we’re seeing her true colors now that she’s close to 3…oh the joy.

  6. Sha Boogie says:

    Well now.. all I’ve been doing is threatening with “time outs” and “pops” but you’re on to something with the spoon! My Terrible two is now telling me to “hush” *faints* say what now?! I need a spoon in my life..lol

  7. we’re holding out on the spanking too. he’s definitely testing us though! We do have a few spoons around the house. You know, just in case.

  8. I have the opposite problem. I was trying not to spank or hit my then 3 year old son at all. I just used time outs and sent him to his room when he got out of line but he was still misbehaving. Then, me and my family all went to Clementine park one day and he back talked me VERY LOUDLY and my father-in-law said I better pop him. I was still against it but he told me about raising my strong-willed husband as a child and how they had to spank him all the time and eventually he got the picture.

    So I tried it.

    Let’s just say that, for me, spanking does not work! I can deal with a little pop and the spoon method (but of course, my son is over that!).

    SO now, I’m trying something new…the reward chart. Pray for me! Let’s just hope that works! :D

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