The terrible twos they call them. Well, I can testify that the twos are real and they are indeed terrible.
Since the twos have been approaching, I’ve been noticing a distinct change in his behavior.
NO, NO, and NO.
Also, he wants to hit us when he doesn’t get his way.
I can’t have that.
Plus, he was showing out at school and in public: hitting, throwing stuff, biting.
I was so ashamed.
In my family/culture, its customary around this time to start with hitting, spanking, or whatever you want to call it.
In other words, its time to tap.that.tail.
I’ve been reluctant. I wanted to raise my child different from how I was raised. I had visions of a well-behaved child who did what I told him. Maybe a little defiant, but a quick time out would fix that. I read books on “toddler behavior” and “parenting”.
All that new parent speak may work in someone else’s world, but in mine…..
I tried everything: reason, redirection, distraction, time out, reverse psychology. None of it worked, and we were at our wits ends over here. But you know what did work?
A thin wooden spoon.
I’ve never personally used said spoon.
I think my husband used it once.
But that was enough.
Every since that moment, if you even show him the spoon, he backs down and does what you tell him to.
It’s amazing folks, just plain amazing! Just the THREAT of the spoon.
Sometimes I don’t even have to show the spoon. I just have to say: “Do I need to get my spoon?”
Now let me clarify a little. My child is not deftly afraid of us now, or of the spoon. He just recognizes that the spoon holds the power. And that we hold the spoon.
Amazingly, once we got the behavior under control at home, the behavior at school miraculously improved. I attribute that to the spoon also. Plus, every morning, I whisper in his ear: No hitting, no biting. He repeats it to me and he is so proud in the afternoon to tell me “No hitting, no biting Mommy!” Even his teacher has commented on his change in behavior!
Now, this is not to say he is perfect. Far from it! But we’re getting control. I believe that time and consistency, along with the threat of my dear friend Mr Spoon will help us along.
You may not agree with my process, or what I’m doing with my child, but guess what? You don’t have to! This is what’s working for me, right now. Of course, next week, I may be singing a new tune, but who knows? That’s the beauty of parenthood. You learn from each day.
What’s working for you?