Letter from a Reader: How Does a 3rd Child Change Everything?


Here at Lifewiththreekids I welcome questions from our readers. Am I an expert? No, but I do have “on job training” experience from not only raising three kids but also taking part of helping with my 3 nieces who are now teenagers. The letter this week is from a male subscriber who is anticipating his third girl.

Q.Everyone has been warning me that the third child changes everything. Are they right? What should I expect? Looking for advice from someone with experience.

A. For me  having a third child was a deal breaker. I had just gotten used to having a 1-year-old and 10-year-old but when the baby came (commonly referred to as Pooh) I was not prepared. He’s now 1 1/2 and I am just now getting into a groove with managing three kids and everything else I have to do. Here are some types I have learned during my 10 years of being a parent.

1. Create a schedule and stay with it as much as you can. Everyday I plan out what I am doing–no matter what. This allows me to plan how I need to best react to what is happening. For example, my son may have soccer, I may have to attend Bible Study, my two-year old may have homework from Preschool and the baby may have a doctor’s appointment. So what do I do? I plan out what I do.  I may cook dinner for that night the night before. My  husband may have  to take our son to soccer and I study while waiting on my baby’s doctor appointment. Then when I get home  I may schedule 30 minutes to complete homework with my daughter. By 9pm all children must be bathed, feed and IN BED to give me time to work on my endeavours.

2. Become organized. This is especially important for parents who work or who have busy schedules. Staying organized allows you to know where everything in your house is at and can save you valuable time when you are looking for that birth certificate to sign your son up for football. It has gotten to the point that I wash and iron all of my children’s clothes for the week on Sunday night. I am a Nazi when it comes to grocery shopping and getting everything ready the night before. I even take it a step further and put all of my kids items the night before on school days.

3. If things do not go as planned it will be okay, just deal with it. Sometimes you can plan so much that when things go awry you have a nervous breakdown. ALways have a “Plan B, C, or D”. This will give you options and leave you optimistic in a sea of confusion. For example, I thought that my daughter, Little Mama, doctor’s appointment was at 3pm but I had heard the receptionist wrong at it was actually at 2! Did I fret? No, I just went into the office and waited (only about 30 minutes) and just rescheduled my later appointments. Realize crap happens!

4. Get some help it will allow you some rest time. It was hard for me to realize that sometimes YOU can not do it all. I actually had to hire someone to clean my house and help me with the kids. When  a friend brought this up as an idea I was totally against it. I did not want someone in my house seeing all of my “dirty laundry.” After she cleaned my house, it was like a wave of relief came over me. When she washed, folded and put our laundry up I was in complete bliss. With the economy being so bad, housekeepers and nannies are cheaper–especially if they do not come on a daily basis. So I know look forward to the day the housekeeper is coming!

All in all, using these four points as a starting point to your insanity is crucial to ensure that you can handle all of the responsiblities of living with three kids!

Does this look like you??

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About @Theeducatorsroom

An advocate of public education. You can't scare me, I TEACH!
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4 Responses to Letter from a Reader: How Does a 3rd Child Change Everything?

  1. latise says:

    Have a 4th. With 3 I was losing it. They always paired off in 2’s always leaving 1 out.At any given time I always had 1 unhappy, mad, and jealous. Leaving me to entertain 1of them at all times. I had a fourth and everything just fell into place. I don’t how this would play out for people with children spaced far apart.

    • Unfortunately that is me.. It is usually DJ that is left out but NOW I MAKE HIM PLAY WITH HIS LITTLE BROTHER AND SISTER… Yeah I do not want to know how a 4th one feels! 🙂

  2. Yum Yucky says:

    My Greedy Baby is banished to her crib for smacking me (uh huh). I could take this free time to fold laundry, but I’m gonna take a nap instead! I need it! 😉

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