Swear Words taste like Dial Antibacterial Soap

Bar_of_soap : Herbal soap, isolated on a white background

Disclaimer* I neither condone or condemn how you choose to raise or discipline your children. This blog is hypothetical though it may or may not be based on events factual or fictional.  Dial has not authorized the use of it’s brand in this post and would probably be horrified to hear what I do with their soap.  Surely that’s enough to keep me out of trouble right? 🙂

I have a ten year old son. He is convinced that he is quite manly and therefore inclined to do things that demonstrate said manliness. Where he gets these ideas, I’m not really sure. So if (hypothetical remember) I had a ten year old son swear at me in a very flippant offhand manner, I would wash his little foul mouth out with soap. Disgusting soap. Seriously the nastiest I could find. In my house that’s Dial antibacterial. The yellow bar. Here’s an example:

Hypothetical son: “Mom, why the H@#$ would I do that?!”
Hypothetical me: (calmly): “I don’t know son, but follow me for a second.”
Duo enters bathroom where son is forced to open his mouth and stick out tongue so that hypothetical me can rub it with yellow Dial bar until I see lather.

I know this is probably not a popular stance. Am I a swear-word fanatic? Nope. It doesn’t faze me really.  Am I a staunch disciplinarian?  Giggle giggle.  My kids probably get away with murder on a daily basis.  I am however a respect fanatic, and the fact of the matter is ten year old sons don’t swear at THIS mother. Neither do 16 year old sons. Not unless they enjoy the taste of yellow Dial bars. I know the time-out fans are standing and screaming at the computer screen right now, but I’ll tell you what; 7 years from now my son is likely not going to be hitting old ladies over the head and snatching purses or standing on your street corner with 5 of his friends cussing and smoking.  Can I guarantee this?  Nope, but here’s what I can guarantee.  Respectful children have a healthy amount of self respect and therefore don’t usually engage is shameful behavior on a regular basis.  Will he be perfect? I hope not…that would be really boring, and he is after all a little boy inclined to do the childish things that children do.  But hopefully he won’t do anything so detrimental that it ruins his life.  It takes time, a series of escalating acts, a lack of discipline and respect to get to that level.  That being said, if you catch my son out in the community swearing, let me know. I’ve got a hypothetical bar of soap for him.


About TonieReynolds

I'm a not so super Supermom of three. If I had to describe my life in 10 words or less, I might say: "Successfully navigating the art of not losing your mind."
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2 Responses to Swear Words taste like Dial Antibacterial Soap

  1. Lisa says:

    I am all in favor of the hypothetical, or even REAL bar of soap to make the goal of respect. Good girl!

  2. Educator says:

    I ate soap in 1st grade at a grammer school called St. Eulalia #itworked

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