I have had several conversations with people about being “honest” and what that truly means. We teach our children to “Be honest” and “Always tell the truth” but we are often dishonest to them in our words and actions. What I mean is that we don’t exemplify the behavior we try to in grain in them. So our actions speak louder than our words. Our children began to understand to our dismay that what you say is “right” and what you show can be two very different things.
- Tell them to eat healthy and take care of themselves but WE eat junk often, smoke, drink heavily, don’t exercise, etc
- Tell them not to lie then lie to them about our life, the world or other things to “protect them” (It is better to just tell them the TRUTH which is: IT IS NONE OF THEIR DARN BUSINESS!!!! ) Until they are grown they can not even fully grasp the entirety of the issue anyway so why even put that on their little minds and hearts. Explain what you can HONESTLY and let them know that somethings they will just have to wait on which will also teach them patience 😉
- Tell them to treat people good but we are hostile, mean, crabby, gossipy (real word) or down right mean
- Tell them to save but we spend money unnecessarily allllllllllll the time
- Tell them “it is what is on the inside that counts” but constantly focus on our external beauty, clothes, new things, fancy cars, etc.
Some parents also have the “Do as I say do” approach to parenting which sends mixed signals at best and fosters the breeding ground for life long hypocrisy, discontent, falsehood, resent and sniper like personalities at worse. (Yes I am being dramatic BUT it is not really that far-fetched.)
The bottom line is that it is better to DO than to SAY DO. We do not have the right or luxury of NOT being the type of model person we want our children to be (My opinion). BE absolutely clear that WHATEVER you see in your child you have taught them… directly or indirectly. Now dont trade in all your worldly riches and become a monk or nun. I’m not saying that you have to be a perfect tree hugging, vegan, saint. The point is to work on modeling the behavior and personality you want your child to have. Show them that people make mistakes AND how to correct them. (I will post on this later or you can ask specific questions (im no expert I just try to do good). The good news is that at any point you can improve, continue doing well or completely change things for the better. This will not only show them that people CAN change and that it is NEVER to late to do or be better. It will also improve their outlook on the world and view of themselves. (I’m an optimist)