The Untold Stories of Motherhood: The Penny Issue (Volume 1)

As a mother I’m used to cleaning dirty diapers, wiping snotty noses and dealing with temper tantrums; however, within the last 24 hours I have totally been grossed out by one of my kids. It all started with a missing penny. After I got done working out, I noticed a spare penny on the ground. I mean to pick it up before one of the toddlers got to it but I forgot and went back to playing Superwoman Mom.

About an hour later, I heard my 3-year-old daughter,Lil Mama,  and 11-year-old son, D.J., arguing downstairs. He kept telling her, “what do you mean you put it in your mouth?” She simply replied, “I swallowed it.” As their voices got progressively louder, I wondered what in the heck they were talking about! All of a sudden it hit me… they were talking about the PENNY! I jumped off the bed and ran downstairs.

Not knowing what was going on, I asked my husband what were the two kids arguing about. He (oblivious to what was going on) looked at me like I was some mad women (which I was at this point). I grabbed Lil Mama, opened her mouth and looked for the penny. It wasn’t there. I searched in the last location I saw the penny. It wasn’t there. Upon further questioning I confirmed my worst fears. Ava had swallowed the penny. ( By the way, while all of this was going on, my 2-year-old looked in amazement at the spectacle I was making.)

I was frantic. She wasn’t gasping for air or choking so I did the first thing that came to mind. I made her drink a cup of water while I dialed her pediatrician. While I waited on the doctor to call me back, horrible thoughts raced through my mind. What if she choked? Am I a bad parent? How in the HELL did my husband not see all of this going on? Why in the HELL did I not just pick up the penny while it was on my mind. When the doctor called me back  she told me (rather calmly) to calm down and gave me instructions.

  1. Give her something solid to eat and see if she has difficulty going down.
  2. Pay attention to her if she acts differently.
  3. If she starts coughing bring her to the ER immediately.
  4. Make sure she is her usual active self.
  5. Last but not least, watch her “poop” and go through it (YUCK) and see if the penny passes!

I was fine with all the other ones until #4! What in the world?!?!!?!?! Yes, I am an “experienced” mother; however, who in the hell wants to go through feces–never mind it’s your 3 year daughters! For the next 48 hours I had to accompany her to the bathroom and if she “pooped” I had to scoop it up (with gloves ,plastic fork and bag) and feel to see if the penny was there. EVERY TIME I was mortified. There were times I almost vomited but I stayed strong for the mission at hand, find the missing penny.

So far I missed her first poop, but every other time I have completed this tedious task. I think the penny passed within the first “bathroom visit” but just to be on the safe side, I am taking her to the doctor on Monday. **sigh the things we do for our children**

What’s the grossest part of parenting that you have ever done? Leave a comment and let me know!



About @Theeducatorsroom

An advocate of public education. You can't scare me, I TEACH!
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